Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
