We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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