I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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