Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
