I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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