we're blogging at a bar
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
