I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize