Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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