Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He did a backflip because drugs
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
