You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
How external is "for external use only"?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
