Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
