i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
