Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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