dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I want to fling myself into the sun
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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