dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
