I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Sober January is a disaster.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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