I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize