I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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