Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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