Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
