oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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