My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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