yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
