:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
