WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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