Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
