Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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