i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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