Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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