Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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