I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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