I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Randomize
