could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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