Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
