just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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