no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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