is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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