everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
