I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
