SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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