I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
