wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I lost the right to judge tonight
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
