i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
