; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
