Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
