i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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