fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
