U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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