he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
