it was like his penis was on wheels.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
