You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
