he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
