The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
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Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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