then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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