handjob tips. give me some.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
