I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
