Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
