he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
