I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i dont even know how to be here
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
