Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
