Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
