I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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