While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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