stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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