Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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