Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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